Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Jokes of the Day

While I am having lunch with one whole bunch of Structural Engineers, these are some jokes I got today.

Joke A
There is one Chinese professor came to my university to give some class on integration and differentiation. After all the derivation, the lecturer look at me and said, I know...you must be thinking of the equation in 4D, but don't do so, just take the whole equation and integrate in 3D, then you will understand.

Actually when I am walking out of the lecture hall, my brain is not even thinking of the equation in 2D.

ps: for non-engineering reader, 3D means X Y and Z axis, 4 D means XYZ and time axis.

Joke B
In a bioengineering project, calculation/algebra guy will give a report of 400 pages.

Engineer will give 200 pages.

But, biology guy will only give 10 pages.


Lame? ok la...

7 comments:

ewilly said...

>.<""""""""""
hmm... should be " Jokes of the day" . with this " ".
I do not get it coz I aint an engineer?

after reading this.. just imagine when I am rolling my eyes .
asking... huh... is this a joke??

Simply Great Food said...

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS (a non-engineer's arithmetic)

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit.
Smart boss + dumb employee = production.
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion.
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime.
_____________________________

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

THIS EQUATIONS ARE FOR SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.

have a gud laugh dear.

WY said...

i don't get it either. and i am a structural engineer.

Livingmonolith said...

i'm a biologist and i don't get the jokes too. okay, formerly a biologist.

or are those norwegian jokes we've never heard of?

ewilly said...

Oh... conclusion, uncle jokes are jokes...
liu one hmmm erm... er...

ok.. u got the answer.. it is not a joke.. should be a statement

liu.. u can go tell ur colleague...
hahahahaha

cLiu said...

fine fine fine!

actually is like Jason said, norwegian jokes are like that.

There is another one I heard which is even worse.

" you know why the door of old norwegian/viking house is very low? (those eskimo's house where the door is super cute)

it is because whenever there is a guest enter your house, they have to bend down to go in.

And if he is your enemy, you can just chop off his head by standing beside the door! "

everyone laugh, but i was...har?

cLiu

NiC said...

am i the only one who laughed at those 2 jokes? hmm...